The Schneiderman Family

Destined for Greatness

2012-02-01T10:54:00.001-06:00

I am feeling the winter funk for sure. Bah! I feel like I am doing nothing productive except clearing out some DVR space. Most of the family has been sick all of January. Harper had a fever for a week, off for a few days, then fever again for 4 days. Two ped trips, got some antibiotics for a sinus infection, now he is doing better. Brady had a cough while Harper had his first bout of fever. That didn't last long luckily. I've had a cough/cold for 82 days it seems. It wanes then returns. Now Todd and I both have it. I keep calling dibs on the Nyquil since we can only have one drunk parent at a time. Score!!

I keep thinking of what I want to do with myself, besides schooling this stubborn little two year old. Write my book, but then should it be fiction or non-fiction? You know, bc that is the only thing holding me back. Publisher, Book Deal, that is all in the bag. :/ Should I start sewing more and try to sell the gifts? Or should I just keep at my blog and try to grow it and add a crafty section in addition to the super exciting ~~daily~~ monthly updates?

And with all these exciting non-plans, I have to find the time. Believe it or not, I don't seem to have much. How am I typing this right now if I have no time? Well, Harper is sitting on my boobs playing on the iPad. And we might be watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Unfortunately this will only last about 3 minutes before I must get up and play hockey. As in "STAND UP NOW MOMMY!! HOCKEY!! PUCK!!" Here, have a whack in the face with this tiny wooden hockey stick. I got it Harper, you want to play hockey.

Naptime consists of cleaning, laundry, and as dorky as it sounds, getting school stuff ready for when Harper wakes up. And I'm not going to lie, watching Monday nights Bachelor. Priorities people. You worker bees get a lunch break, so shut it, I can watch reality television during naptime.

So if anyone has any suggestions on my future greatness, please feel free to chime in.

It's a new year

2012-01-05T10:33:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!!! My New Year's resolution is simple. My goal for 2012 is to only wash socks when they have their match in the same load. 2011 was a horrible time for socks in the Schneiderman household. You might even call it an epidemic. I have 421 single socks. Todd only has socks with holes in them, and Brady is wearing Harper's socks. It's time to stop the madness!!

On to other topics.

Brady is getting bumped up a level in Reading. Woo! And he received the Citizenship Award for the first nine weeks at school. AND he is skating during the first intermission with his hockey team tonight at the Preds game. He is stoked and now considers himself a celebrity.

Harper is just as stubborn as ever. He won't let me school him at all. So I chase him around the house singing the ABC's while he yells "QUIET!!" hoping some of the letters are being stored in his Power Ranger obsessed brain. And the only counting he will let me do is when it is referring to the start of our fighting match. "1,2,5 FIGHT!" And if you ask him how old he is, he holds up one finger and says proudly, "Free" (3).

I am delaying his 2 year pediatrician visit bc Operation Paci Bye Bye is failing horribly and I don't want Dr. Haraf to fuss at me. I like to be a star pupil and just can't stand disappointing an authority figure. So maybe in a couple of months. Then I can be all like "Of course the paci's gone!" while preening like a proud Momma peacock.

Tis the season

2011-11-29T16:12:00.000-06:00

I LOVE the holidays. The decorations, the songs, the general happiness and excitement that seeps into you.

But some people need to adopt the goodwill towards man thing. I get that some people don't like people saying Happy Holidays. They feel it is taking Christ out of Christmas. Well, here is my take. I love Jesus and I celebrate his birth daily, not just during Christmas. So for me Christmas is about family and teaching my kids to not only appreciate what they have but give back to those without.

And you know what? Not everyone celebrates Christmas. My inlaws are Jewish. They do not celebrate Christmas. They celebrate Chanukah. So for people to get outraged that stores have Holiday sales or say Happy Holidays or for schools to have Holiday parties, it is just ridiculous and very un-Christian in my opinion. Why would any Christian want to make other people feel like they don't matter bc their holiday coincides with yours? Joy to the world people, not just Joy to the Christians.

Santa Claus is not Jesus. If a school chooses not to put Santa in the classroom, it is not a slight to Jesus. But putting one is a slight to those who do not celebrate Christmas. Now if you decorate for all Holidays, then you are teaching acceptance and inclusion. So bring on Santa, dreidels, and the Kwanza candle-thing.

The story of Christmas is a good one. It's a story that should be taught year round.

I know I may offend some, but quit with the assault on the "Holidays". Step back and realize what message you are sending. No one is asking you to stop celebrating Christmas. Go ahead and put your manger scene in the front yard. I plan on doing an Advent calendar that tells a different Bible story each night. But please stop thinking you are the only people who deserve to celebrate. It's not only egocentric it is down right un-Christian.

ho ho ho

My kids are really weird

2011-11-27T12:56:00.000-06:00

Boys in general are weird. And smelly and gross. I'm getting used to the constant hand in the pants. I still don't understand it. I don't walk around all day twirling my nipples, but hey, who am I to judge?

But somethings my son does are just strange. For example, when he poos he has to be alone (understandable), but he sits there and talks to himself. He yells at you if you interrupt his private conversation. When it's time to wipe, he unravels the toilet paper roll until he finds the perfect section to wipe his butt. That means my bathroom is filled with his discarded unworthy sections. Then he emerges from his solitary monologue with his drawers around his feet, waddling through the house looking for me. Then he bends over and asks me to see if he's good. Eww. I think I would rather him be Skid Mark Kid than inspect his little 5 1/3 year old butt hole. That's how old he is exactly and will tell you like the little nerd he is.

And he still licks things. We'll be having a conversation and I'll look over at him and he's chewing on his shoe. ???? I'm thinking of giving him his paci back just to get him to stop putting things in his mouth and licking me constantly. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't contracted Herpes from the shopping carts at Walmart, cause he licks those too.

I would like to think all boys are this weird and gross, but I'm starting to think Brady is unique. It's not my fault. I can probably blame Todd for the penis infatuation bc they share that obsession. But the other things I have no clue. I kinda feel sorry for his future wife.

At least he's cute and smart?!

Adventures in Potty Training

2011-11-10T11:13:00.000-06:00

I thought Harper might be ready for potty training since he tells me every time he goes. Not so much. I put him on the potty and he sucked his penis up into where ever penises go when they are cold and started yelling "Diaper!!!"

So that didn't work. I'm not giving up though bc I think once he does it once he will be super excited. So I'm going to look into the most fancy, loud, bedazzled potty chair there is and hope it creates a sense of adventure in my spitfire toddler.

With Brady we tried right at 2 and he wasn't ready, so we waited about 6 months and tried again. Then he tried and within 2 weeks he was diaper free. Let's hope Harper's adventure is as non-eventful. Somehow I think it will not be as easy going.

Good thing our carpets are already disgusting from the dogs.

ohmygoodnesstheydon'tbelieveamIcrazy

2011-09-20T15:10:00.000-05:00

After my last couple blogs you may have realized that I have certain control and anxiety issues. I have realized they are chronic and not going away on their own, so I am proactively working on it. For starters, I have starting journaling in another (private) blog. It is a whole chaotic mess. I usually like to be organized in my thoughts and writings, but this journal is straight from an ADD crazy mind. I jump from subject to subject with no connection. It's like my thoughts are crapping out of my head onto the computer and only I can follow it, hence the private status. It is making me realize some connections in my past that may have affected how I act or react today. Crazy smart stuff happening in my head. Just call me Dr.

I also thought I would try the whole therapy thing. It scares me to death for someone to see me as anything less than put together, but I really want to change some things so I decided to call. I called the number referred to me by a friend who is equally crazy. The lady answers and I tell her I'm interested in therapy, blah blah. She asks me to explain what's going on, so I basically tell her my days are based around my anxiety. My anxiety is dictating what I do and don't do. I said ANXIETY about 300 times in the 3 minutes I had her on the phone, followed closely by IBS. She said she understood and would have a therapist and the nurse lady call me back.

The rest of the day goes by..... ok. No call backs. I'll just wait til tomorrow. Anxiety

Next day. Afternoon... text aforementioned crazy friend to see how quickly they called her back. She said call them back tomorrow. Anxiety

Next day. 4 pm. I now think they are testing me. Let's all just sit around the phone and see how many times this crazy ANXIETY girl will call back.

I finally call them back. Oh, my bad, I forgot to pass on the message. I see them silently laughing and high fiveing themselves while I am twitching and chewing off my knuckles (bc my fingernails are long gone)

Really lady?! WTF! You did hear me say ANXIETY. Not cool to keep someone who says ANXIETY every other word just waiting. Not. Cool.

Finally talked to one of the ladies that afternoon. 2 days later I heard from the therapists.

In fact when she called I was in the bathroom with my anxious upset stomach because I hadn't heard back from my therapist, "ohmygoodnesstheydon'tbelieveamIcrazy". That's what was going through my head.

Zoom ahead to this week. Had both appointments this morning/afternoon. And I barely have a voice so that was fun trying to talk for 2.5 hours.

Hopefully this is the beginning of a healing/releasing journey that will make me more of myself and less of the ANXIETY driven person who is scared to do anything and backs out of everything.

But seriously, dont' play games with your patients. Don't keep an ANXIOUS lady waiting.

Harper rules this house

2011-09-09T13:59:00.002-05:00

Let me preface by saying I love staying home with Harper. With Brady in school, this is my first one on one time with my baby bear and I am blessed and happy to have this special time with him. He is quick to give kisses and loves to veg in my arms while I obsess on Pinterest. All his words are in blue so you can see what he's saying right now.

Now let me continue by saying that Harper can be a real a-hole. I see many battles in the upcoming school year between us. Just this morning, while singing the ABC's he starts singing along with his own version. Shhhh Shhhh Shhhh Shhhh. At first I think he's just trying to sing, then he adds the finger to his mouth. He was shushing me. Fine, learn your ABC's your own damn self. He loves to read and will bring me a book and saying Reeeeed. Love it. Then I try to turn the pages and he yells NO! and takes off to sit in his lazy boy and read it to himself.

Teaching this one is gonna be tricky. All he really wants to do is play with his supah (super hero figures) caas (cars) and play hock-ee.

Here are some cute things he has said/done recently.

Going over animals/first words/colors: Phish, bana (banana, except he says it while looking at an apple), rack-or (tractor, except he says it while looking at a choo choo). When asked what a dog says, he said "HUSH!" ha, that is actually what we say when the dogs bark, clever little boy. Meanus (for his penis) Moobies (for boobies). And before every bite he shoves his food into his nose and says "bessing" (blessing). I don't want to discourage prayer, but 20 times during a meal is kinda too much. It is sweet how every time someone sneezes or coughs, even the dogs, he says "mess ew" (bless you).

Whenever he is strapped in somewhere, he starts going through his arsenal of get me out words. Stuck, Buckle, Out, Up, Gone Gone (All Done/Gone). He does not like car rider line.

And my favorite word is outside, which he says gansta style South-siiiide.

He can kick the soccer ball like a three year old, hit the hockey puck like a 4 year old, and his throwing and baseball swing are freakin great too. He can't catch anything and just let's you hit him in the face over and over. He grabs a football and yells HUT. I love how he says soccer, it sounds French "sacre". Boy loves his sports.

Whenever he hears a ding or ring he yells "Phooooone". Whenever you do something he doesn't like, if he isn't hitting you, he yells "Haaaaay". When you leave his view he chases you saying "Wait, Wait, Waaaiiiittt".

That's what Harper is up to these days.

Buffalo Chicken makes me happy

2011-09-02T11:05:00.003-05:00

Football is finally here. YES!!! And with it comes the football foods. No football Monday/Thursday/Saturday/Sunday is complete without a little buffalo chicken. Here are my three favorite recipes.

Buffalo Ckn Dip

I got this recipe from my friend Casey, and I don't know where she got it from.

Ingredients:

Ckn (I just pull the ckn from a rotisserie ckn, minus skin)
6 oz mild TX Pete Buffalo sauce
2 8oz blocks of Cream Cheese (I've used the lowfat and it tastes good too)
16 oz Bottle of blue Cheese dressing
2-3 oz Blue Cheese Crumbles
8 oz Monterey Jack Cheese grated

Preheat oven to 350. Mix cooked ckn with buffalo sauce, then spread onto bottom of greased pan.

Heat cream cheese, blue cheese dressing and crumbles until melted. Pour over ckn.

Bake for 40 minutes. sprinkle MJ cheese on top. Serve with celery or chip.

Can be frozen.

Buffalo Ckn Egg Rolls

I got this recipe from www.canyoustayfordinner.com. I actually found it on Pinterest which is my newest obsession. It was so easy and quick and yummy. I was kinda nervous about the brocolli slaw b/c it sounded too healthy, but it was so good. Perfect amount of crunch. And they are finger friendly. Baked not fried. Supposedly only 100 calories per egg roll. Great blog too, good recipes.

Buffalo Ckn Bites

I made these and they were super tasty. But I doubt I'll make them again. They were VERY time consuming and tasted kinda like the buffalo chicken dip which is super easy. But still good.

A Whole New World of Crazy

2011-09-02T10:37:00.000-05:00

This school year I have been introduced to the crazy world of car riders. I know those veteran mom's laugh and roll their eyes at us newbies, but it is definitely a whole new world. A whole new CRAZY world. I have seen an actual hair pulling cat fight b/c someone cut someone else in line on Old Hickory Blvd.

School doesn't let out until 3 pm. But by 2:15 the horse shoe is full. FULL! There are 2 lines going one way in the horse shoe. There are two white lines, one at the front and one at the back of the horse shoe. Those are the stop lines. Once all kids within the lines have gotten in their cars, people can leave and let the next round of cars pull up. Sounds simple.

Now let's delve into the characters I see on a daily basis. There is this one woman. I don't know if bc she is not originally from here (America) and isn't use to our driving she feels it is ok to stop right in front of the front doors everyday. Even if there is like 6 car lengths in front of her to pull up, she just stops. This prevents anyone else from pulling up. Parking there doesn't mean you get your kid sooner. Like I said, all kids have to be in their cars before they let anyone leave. People have tried to tell her to pull up. Yet everyday she stops in the same place. I truly want to smack her. It's just rude.

Then there is this adorable little Chinese grandpa who always gets there the same time as me. He makes sure to pull up enough, then he gets out and hunts down some shade. Technically you're not supposed to get out, but he is diligent and if any cars move, he goes back to his car and pulls up. He is courteous. I like this man. He even plays with Harper when we get out bc he is wailing in the backseat.

Then there are the people who park in the car rider line, then get out and actually walk up to the doors, pretending to be "Walkers". They thought they would get their kids earlier. Again, they don't seem to understand that no matter when your child actually gets to your car, first or last, ALL CARS LEAVE AT THE SAME TIME. Seriously people, it really isn't that hard. Luckily the school people have now told the "walkers" they can't have their kids until the car rider kids are gone, so please stop hovering like vultures. ha. neener neener

OK, so I know you don't care about this, but it is truly an experience.

And it doesn't help my anxiety issues. It's like flying Southwest. I get there 4 hours before a flight just to ensure I would be the first in the A line so I could control where I sat. (I know it has changed now). I feel like I need to get in between the first set of white lines NOW. So of course by the time I am there, my stomach hurts and I am stuck in line with no way out for 45 minutes.

But when I see my little man looking for my car and then blabbling nonstop on the 1 minute ride home, it makes me so happy. The bus would make more sense, but I'm just not ready for that.

Control Freakiness

2011-09-01T18:05:00.000-05:00

It has taken me a long time to figure out what type of person I am. My excessive parties, making my own gifts, preschool lessons, etc. My sister makes fun of me. It's not that I am trying to be the best, which I was afraid was my motivation. Not that being the best is bad, I just don't want it to be my driving force. I have figured it out over the past few years that my issue is control. I strive to have control. My aspirations to be the best at everything I do is tied into this control thing, I think. Growing up I knew I wanted to go into Marketing. In order to control that I made straight A's. I joined clubs; I did service projects. I made sure I would get a scholarship. Once at school, I stayed on the dean's list (minus the first semester. I mean really, who goes away to college for the first time ever and studies the first few months?) I got a great job with one of the top professors in the COBA, ensuring my "in" with the other teachers as well. I set myself up for my dream job. blahblahblah Even writing it is exhausting!

Anywho, I like control. I planned to the day when I would conceive my first child and what gender it would be. (I think it was just pure luck and coincidence that it worked out that way) I breastfed so I could control what he was getting. I became a Stay at Home Mother so I could control how my child was raised. Geesh, I sound like a self-righteous woman, but really it's all about what I can control.

I'm ok with change, or surprises. I'm not uptight, despite what it sounds like above. And I promise I do have fun. But I'll be honest, not as much fun as I want. See all this control freakiness has caused me to have anxiety and yes, even IBS (embarrassing). The thought of doing anything that I can't control, like going out all night with a group of friends, completely puts me on edge. What if my stomach starts hurting and I can't get home? The fear of my stomach hurting makes me anxious MAKING my stomach hurt. It's a horrible cycle. My friends have started referring to my backing out of things as "pulling a Tammi". It sucks. I don't like it. I want to be able to be care free and see what happens, but I can't.

Even going to a playdate makes me anxious. Basically anything that is out of my stay at home routine causes my stomach to hurt. Basically I have to suck it up and hope it will pass. Usually once the event or whatever actually starts, the anxiety/upset stomach has passed. It is just the build up to it. I don't go to Titans games anymore or many Preds games for that matter. And yes, the addition of children have added to that, but the anxiety wasn't worth it for me.

And this constant anxiety or tension causes me to constantly (I'm using that word a lot, I need a thesaurus) clinch my jaw. My dentist told me in two years I have worn away half of my back teeth. Yes, I rock a night guard now and it is not cool. Nothing says sexy like a drooling, lisping wife. I have to make a conscious effort during the day and night to relax. I can't even get massages b/c the thought of being stuck in a room, naked for an hour without access to a bathroom, completely stresses me out. And I LOVE massages.

Goodness gracious. This post was supposed to be about car riders line. TANGENT much? OK, I'll make that my next post. ha

Welcome Home Daddy, Here's a little sumpin' for ya.

2011-08-27T15:03:00.000-05:00

Todd was gone from Monday thru Friday. AGAIN. Hate it. Not only do we miss him, but I am exhausted and cranky. Super excited to see him yesterday. Yay! And of course we all thought we would get some goodies from his trip. Especially Mommy. He went to some fashion trade show in Vegas. Such glorious duds. And you know what he brought me? Nothing. Nada. But I guess it is better than the bedazzled velour jumpsuit he got me last year with LAS VEGAS in rhinestones on the butt.

Just to make him feel loved and needed, Harper decided to wake up around 5 this morning and puke a lot. Then the other end kicked in with the worst smelling emissions ever. And the only one he wants to cuddle with is Daddy. So sweet and wonderful, especially since I don't have to smell him (Harper, not Todd).

So no Grandma Brenda birthday celebration today. Big frowny face. My first reaction was to leave Todd with Harper and take Brady to Clarksville. The weekend is perfect and I hate to miss family time. Then I realized I'm an adult and have to put my kids first. Not so fun being the responsible one all the time.

But it melts my heart to see the love in my family. Harper knows we make him feel better. No where else he'd rather be. No where else I'd rather be.

Lazy or Smart?

2011-08-26T08:25:00.000-05:00

I can't decide if I am being lazy or actually being a great parent. I make/encourage the boys to do a lot of things for themselves. I just told Harper to go get me a diaper and wipes. Is this lazy or teaching independence? I vote for the latter. I love my boys dearly, and I love how they love me and think I am awesome and better than Todd. But I don't want incapable, co-dependent Momma's Boys. Like my oldest son tries to be. He will still waddle around the house with his underwear around his ankles trying to get me to "check" his butt after he goes to the bathroom. How he manages to get up the stairs that way is actually pretty impressive. I would just like to apologize in advance to his future wife if I can't nip this in the butt (pun intended).

So, what do you think? Should we make our kids do more things on their own, like cleaning and wiping, even if it is done poorly? It drives me crazy when the boys clean and they put everything in one bucket instead of sorting out the wrestlers and cars to put in their designated buckets. But if I do it for them, what is it teaching them? I don't even fix it afterwards even though it irks me more than it should. But next time they are looking for the Honkey Tonk Man, I casually say, "Shouldn't it be in the wrestlers bucket? It's not? Oh, well, I bet it's in the big bucket and you'll have to dig and find it and clean it back up once you find it."

Now, don't think I am mean and that I don't help my kids and just sit back and laugh evilly while they are struggling. I only sometimes do that. I only ask them to do things on their own after I have done it first, showed them how to do it, and helped them do it until I know they CAN do it on their own.

It may seem a little lazy of me to make my kids rinse off their dishes and clean up their laundry, but I promise you, their future wives will thank me.

Help Please

2011-08-20T17:21:00.000-05:00

The past two years, we have taken mini vacays during Labor Day weekend. Last year was Chattanooga and the Butt Smell incident and the year before was Dino World and the Lost Cave. We would like to continue the tradition this year, but are at a loss for a place to go.

We did St. Louis already this summer, which was AWESOME! If anyone needs a close to home vacay idea, St. Louis was great.

So... please leave a comment and let me hear your suggestions!

Soccer Started Today

2011-08-20T14:52:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to go on and on about our fifth soccer season opener. Per tradition, we lost our first game. It was not pretty. Yes, I'm a sore loser, but I am particularly sore over this loss. For the second season in a row, we have played the same team first. And both times the score has been A LOT to A LITTLE. For the exact score ask Big D. And I am ok with our team losing, if the game is played fairly.

Our boys rock, so why did we lose? Well, let me tell you.

The coach on the other team is a cheat. He should not be allowed to coach at ALL. The point of play at this age is to learn skills, gain confidence and have fun. If you happen to win, awesome. We usually do, and yes it is awesome. But they still don't technically keep score. And there are no goalies. But this little rule does not stop the other coach from placing a player in the net the WHOLE GAME.

We have taught our team to play defense. Try and turn the ball, but if not, run ahead and block the goal. Fair, yes? Well, this coach blatantly leaves a kid in the goal. Poor kid never gets to go to the other side or even battle for the ball. He stays in the goal. And if you mention it to the coach, which Big D did many times, he acts dumbfounded like he didn't know the kid was there, even though he holds his hands up to the kid if the kid dares to try and leave the goal area. This is against the rules, coaches are told not to do this. It does not promote the ideals HYSA is striving for. But does anyone stop them, NOPE. Let's just continue to let it happen, season after season.

What is this teaching the kids? Cheating wins? Well, yeah they won. Our poor team played their hearts out and looked discouraged at half time. But our coaches being the gentlemen they are did not start an argument. I personally am peeved with the ref too. He saw it happening and didn't stop it. He even congratulated Todd after the game saying that is how coaching should be. Well, HELLO?! You should have stopped the douche bag from doing it!!!!

OK, my rant is over for now.

Paciholics Anonymous

2011-08-17T17:38:00.004-05:00

Per my ped's instructions and following the course I took with Brady, my goal is to have Harper paci-free by his 2nd birthday. I haven't started the true "take-away" yet, but for the last several months I have been making Harper take his paci out when he gets out of bed. No big deal. He smiles and throws it. But I think he understood what Dr. Haraf was telling me at our last visit bc ever since Harper has been a little paci obsessed. He thinks it's hilarious to find one and pop it in his mouth, like he found treasure. Then it is not hilarious if we take it away. He either cries or starts hitting things in a fit of fury. Or he just hauls @$$ in the other direction. It doesn't help that Todd does not care if he has a paci. He is what we call an Enabler.

Lately, whenever I can't find Harper (happens more than you would think for a Stay-at-Home Mom), I find him hiding in the corner of his bedroom, having pulled his paci and blanket from his crib. He is frantically, furiously sucking that paci, while rubbing his nose with his blanket. One day I found him stuck under his crib in a desperate attempt to find a discarded paci.

It's ok Mom, just a quick fix, I swear. I'm not addicted.

The Wonder Years

2011-08-11T17:01:00.001-05:00

Well, it's here. B is in Kindergarten. Tuesday night he had his Open House where he met his teacher. As we were walking into the cafeteria to hear the principal speak, it hit me. My baby is starting to fly away from my safe, fun little nest I've had going on for the past five years. Holy Crap! I'm not ready for him to be in the real world, where people can hurt him and be mean to him and I'm not there to quietly pinch them or scold them. I have to put trust and faith in my teeny little child to make smart decisions on his own and use good judgement. He's a real boy now, no longer my little preschool puppet I can tote around with me.

As Todd and I were reading to him last night, Todd marveled over how Brady knew all the math problems in his book (yes, he picked out a math story at the library). I started crying right there. It hit me that I have been preparing him and working with him for so long to get ready for this moment, and it's here, and he's ready. He is more than ready. He is actually probably too prepared. He is a little know-it-all.

Today was a half day. We dragged Brady out of bed at 6:45. And by we, I obviously mean Todd b/c I don't do mornings and I didn't crawl out of bed until 7. He had his breakfast, washed his face, brushed his teeth and dressed himself. Outside for some pics, then we were off.

Todd and I parked and got Brady out and backpacked up. We put Harper in his stroller. We crossed with the masses at the crosswalk and started towards the school. Brady was grinning half excited, half terrified. I was trying not to cry. I actually probably looked slightly psychotic with the weird "I'm so happy for my child, see my happy face... please don't cry, please don't cry" smile. Then we went in, hung a right towards the red hallway and went into his class. Brady found his seat, found his new locker (so excited!) and I took a ton of pictures. I then walked around aimlessly trying to find something to do so I wouldn't have to leave. Then two kids realized their parents had left, and they lost their !@%# right there. Brady told me he wasn't sad, just a little nervous. Todd told me we had to leave. So we left towards the Boo Hoo Breakfast. I turn around in the Gator Park to find Todd has wandered back into the classroom (sissy) to take more pictures on his cellphone and to check on Brady.

Brady really didn't care that we left him. Brady didn't really grasp the severity of my feelings. In fact, I was actually getting a little pissed off at him. I mean, I raised him for 5 years, I molded him into a smart, handsome, funny young man. I sacrificed a lot to make sure he had the best possible start I could offer him. He could at least have waved or I dunno, looked slightly forlorn. But no, he was coloring a picture of himself on the first day of school.

All negative feelings were wiped clean when I got to the donut table and I no longer thought my son was a brat, but a very brave boy. Remember I am not a morning person at ALL so the Morning Me has a tendency to creep up now and then... especially if I haven't had my Dr. Pepper yet.

Back to my sadness. Todd made me leave after about 20 minutes of talking to other moms, and Todd nonchalantly wandering back to the room for another peek. All was well in Mrs. Nava's classroom. Even the two suicidal children had accepted their fate and were coloring happily on their snot and tear covered pages.

In the car, I read the letter Mrs. Nava had written telling us she knows how hard it is on us parents, and how she promises to love each child as her own. Well damn. I thought I was doing so good. Then I just start bawling and Todd looks at me like I have just gone mad and he glances at me out of the corner of his eye as he drives me home. No sympathy, until of course I make him read the letter, and he curses under his breath and says it was not a very nice letter at all and why would she do that to us, as he wipes tiny tears away.

I pick up Brady (after sitting in the car line for 45 minutes, having to potty) and he tells me he had such a great day and he has a great teacher and he has two new friends (doesn't know their names). I was so happy for him. Then we get home, he goes to drop his post-school doo and comes back telling me he was wearing two pair of underwear. Apparently he was still quite out of it when he dressed himself bc he forgot to take off his old underwear before putting the new ones on. We are not morning people. I will have to check him more thoroughly next time, or have Todd do it b/c let's be honest, I'll still be in bed.

So in closing, my baby has started school. He will never be solely mine anymore. Bittersweet for sure. I survived, he survived, Todd survived, and I think Harper was actually thrilled to have the house and me to himself. Finally the cheek-pinching will cease, at least during the day.

Brady's Birthday Party and Hockey School

2011-08-04T21:52:00.001-05:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

Harper's new words

2011-07-17T14:30:00.001-05:00

Here are a few of the words Harper finally decided to say while we were on vacay:

Goal
Pass (paci)
Jace (his buddy)
Pee pee (for his manhood and fav toy)

I know this isn't an amazing post but I don't have a pen to record it in his baby book, so this is serving as my reminder.

Other words..... bye bye, uh-uh, yes, no, pees(please), mama, dada, baba /wawa ( bottle/water), hiya (for when he kicks you) and Ooooo (as in Ooooo I just kicked you).

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Amazon Woman

2011-05-03T12:41:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading the third installment from Stieg Larsson, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. Pretty good, not my favorite of the series, but good. Anyways, in each section’s prologue, it discusses women warriors, specifically the legend of the Amazon women. I was fascinated. And I believe I was meant to be an Amazon Woman.

The first thing that struck me as remarkable was that they had their right breasts removed so it would not hinder their archery skills. Heaven forbid their aim be slightly askew. In fact, Amazon, literally means “without breasts”. Although the practice of removing the breast hasn’t been proven to have actually happened; I find it fascinating. And of course this is the first reason I think I would be an awesome Amazon. No need to remove anything. God made me pre-Amazoned. So watch out all you buxom beauties, I can take you out while you try to correct your faulty aim caused by your big boobs. Ba-ha-ha (that’s my evil laugh).

Amazons were trained to use all weapons and were honorable, courageous, brave and represented rebellion against sexism. Heck yeah! And they found no need to marry. The only reason to mingle with the menfolk was to procreate and you could only do that if you had previously killed a penis-carrier during battle. I like it.

Monster Ball

2011-05-01T12:39:00.001-05:00

For my 30th bday, Todd took me to Vegas for a week. He had some meetings and business dinners scheduled, but it was mostly a week for us. We had a blast. Let’s recap some of my favorite parts.

We had tickets to the Lady Gaga concert. Ah-May-Zing!! She was awesome. Our tickets were the closest I have ever been to a stage. I loved seeing all the people dressed up. If I am lucky enough to see her again I have my perfect outfit planned, complete with fishnet stockings and a blue wig with a bow. These people looked fierce. And Todd thoroughly enjoyed himself too. Of course he drank, a lot. He became BFFs with the rich guy behind us. He was even excited because he said he might invest in Todd’s company, except we can’t remember his name and Todd didn’t bring any business cards. But we do remember his escort. Except it took us several hours to figure out she was an escort. Then I kept telling people I met a prostitute. And Todd kept telling people he was a Little Monster (hahaha). Oh and he posed with several older gentlemen he saw in a hallway and tried to take the gator off some Aloe Vera salesman’s sweater. You know, Typical Todd stuff.

We made it back to the room and at some point in the middle of the night Todd got up and instead of going to the bathroom near our bed, he ventured into the living room to use the other bathroom. Of course there was a wall that tried to stop him and he punched it with his face. He couldn’t figure out why his lip was busted and swollen the next morning.

Saturday night, we went to see Criss Angel, which was pretty amusing. Not breathtaking but good. Foo Foo Foo (the funny little sidekick said that and it was hilarious… had to be there.) Afterwards, we went to the bar in the lobby and drank. I made BFFs with an older gentleman next to me while Todd made BFFs with the couple from Tennessee next to him. And Old Guy’s friend came over to join us once he realized Old Guy wasn’t getting any action from me. Then Todd made us go play Craps. We did this for about 4 hours. At one point Todd disappeared to go to the bathroom and came back in a Preds jersey. And I boo’d some Canadiens. Fun times!

We ate the best meal at Lupo and I laid out in the sun for two straight days. Pure Bliss!

Thanks Toodles for a great birthday trip!

Soccer Mom

2011-04-29T12:35:00.001-05:00

There are basically two types of sports moms out there. There is the quintessential Soccer Mom who happily cheers for her children while driving a mini-van doused in stick figure athletes, and there is the I Don’t Really Like Sports Mom. This is the mother that definitely loves her child, but could really care less who wins or doesn’t know the slightest thing about the sport being played. She mostly chats with other I Don’t Really Like Sports Moms at the game and doesn’t understand why some Moms are screaming. Don’t they know girls don’t like sports?

Well, take a wild guess which one I am. I am a Soccer Mom. Down to the bone. I was a cheerleader for 12 years (don’t hate on me, I will fight you). I was born to be a Soccer Mom. And it doesn’t matter that I don’t even really like Soccer, or drive a mini-van (that’s a whole nother post). Soccer just happens to be the first sport little boys and girls can play. When my son turned 3, my obsession and competitiveness began. No, they don’t keep score. But it doesn’t matter. I know the stats of every child, I know our record, and I know which kid on the other team is probably lying about their age.

I proudly wear our team colors every Saturday. Even my underwear usually matches. I dress my younger son in the Green Dragon tshirt I made him emblazoned with the logo I had created for our team. I am the Team Mom. I send cheerful emails to the other parents. I stress being on time, I encourage practicing at home, I even research drills that I then pass on to Coach Todd.

At the games, I talk with other Soccer Moms and we discuss when we will sign our boys up for baseball, creating a Dynasty of Awesomeness. Brady is signed up for basketball camp, hockey camp, soccer, and swimming classes. In the Fall, he will do Baseball. Eventually he will have to choose one sport per season. But in the mean time, I am shuffling him from place to place 4 days a week. I was born for this. I actually dreamed about this. I rock at being a Soccer/Baseball/Hockey Mom.

And yes, I have a soccer ball magnet on my SUV.

Gator Hater

2011-04-27T12:35:00.000-05:00

(post meant for several weeks ago, but no internet, so here is a new/old post)

I had to register Brady for kindergarten today. Let me just say I am not prepared for this and have already cried multiple times. I can’t believe my baby- my sweet, funny, little baby boy is about to go to kindergarten. I feel like he is no longer just mine. Now I have to share and I will never have him all to myself again. Big fat crocodile tears.

Speaking of crocodiles, his soon-to-be school’s mascot is the Gator. The Gower Gators. Now this does not sit easy with me. Why? I’ll tell you why. I was born a UT fan. Always been a UT fan, with the exception of a UK basketball period where I loved them because my best friend at the time, Miller, was a UK fan. I even have little gold UK earrings, a UK Starter windbreaker, and I made a big UK box thing in 8th grade art. I have since gotten over my stupidity, and with the exception of now liking Vanderbilt, I am a die-hard Tennessee fan. Sooooo…. I have also been raised to hate the University of Florida. Seriously, I just hate the Gators. Always have, always will. No matter what. They are the one team that I just despise in the SEC. Sure, I don’t particularly like UGA or Alabama, but the Gators will always be the most hated team in my heart.

Now my son is a Gator and it just feels wrong. Seriously. My son is a Gator. Ack! He will NOT be wearing a Gator shirt or logo or any such nonsense.

Why can’t more schools be the Volunteers? I would totally buy those shirts . Or heck, I’d settle for the Gower Grasshoppers. But the Gators, ugh!

Did ya miss me?

2011-04-27T12:32:00.000-05:00

After my last posts, it sounds like I'm uber depressed and pouting in a friendless stuper. Not true. I'm over my funk and the reason no posts is because Vegas ate our internet card. It didn't make the trip back so I haven't had internet until Todd stole his Dad's internet card yesterday.

I have several posts that I will post over the next few days, although now they will seem old. But here is a quick overview of my tots and their talents.

Harper was measured in at 26 pounds and some height that I don't remember but it is short. Short and fat. He says "Pees" (please) all the time when he wants something and shakes his head. That's basically the only word he says besides "uh-Oh" but with he head shaking and pointing he gets his point across. He has also started tackling/wrestling babies again. It's funny because it looks like he is coming in for a sweet ol' hug, then BAM, body slam. It makes him so happy.

Brady finally made it out of level 3 in swimming. He was so proud of himself. And let me just say he killed it in his first class of Level 4. He is doing so great and is so happy. He also finished his skating classes. He really enjoyed them and we're thinking of doing some private lessons to get him good and ready for hockey camp this year. And he is studding it up in soccer. Besides the first lost, Bad News Bears style, his team is killing it!

OK, that is it for now.

Sibling Kombat

2011-04-22T08:57:00.001-05:00

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2011-04-19T09:52:00.001-05:00

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Gaga Dance Party

2011-03-16T12:33:00.001-05:00

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A girl with no Honor

2011-03-11T11:44:00.000-06:00

Awhile back I posted about Brady's confusion about having more than one friend. Well, today I have been singing the "make new friends, but keep the old" song and feeling kinda sad. I blame it on the two Benadryl last night and lack of caffeine today. Always makes me emotional. I have had several friends in the past who were the best of friends. We would hang out, talk all the time, etc. It just felt good to know you had a best friend, as juvenile as that sounds. Well, life happens and we end up in different places in our lives which tends to cause rifts in the relationship. Not fights, just change. Either I'm married and they are single, then I have a baby and they don't. It's hard bc they want to call an hour before going somewhere and you can't drop everything and go. It's not them trying to be mean, it's just they aren't in the same boat. So you start hanging out less and less. You're still friends but they are now better friends with people in the same boat as them, which makes sense, but still hurts. And it works both ways. I do things with other Moms and may not think to invite non-moms bc who wants to listen to other women sit and talk about other people's kids all the time.

But it still hurts to see your once-bestie moving on. Again, I'm just emotional and need a hug or something. It's just I have had several best friends end up barely friends, some even enemies bc of stupid things. Let's see, one in college who wanted to be a part of the "cool" group and thought telling them gossip about me would get her in. She later apologized, but that friendship was over. Then another friend had some boyfriend issues that had absolutely nothing to do with me besides I was in the room to hear the issues, but I got blamed. Again apologized to after the fact, but the damage was done. Then one friend who was just moved away and we just didn't keep in touch bc we were in such different places in our lives it was hard to find stuff to talk about. Both of us at fault. Then another friend who just didn't agree with my lifestyle choices and it created a rift. We are still friends but not like we were.

It just kinda sucks to not have a best friend. Sure I have a lot of great friends. I love them and cherish them and smile when I think of them. But I don't have a maid of honor so to speak. And this is all my bitterness towards my sister who has not given me the title of official Matron of Honor. She was my last hope to ever be a maid of honor. She was mine dadgumit! I love her death and am mostly kidding. Small wedding, my daughter is my maid of honor, blah blah. I've been in 8 weddings with no Honor. Booooo!

And I know I can be a better friend and will try to be. So if you get a call from me you know it's me trying. :)

Ok, I am done being emotional and whiny. Oh, and of course Todd is my true best friend, but I need a friend I can call to complain to about him.

Shut up. Shut up now.

2011-02-21T11:09:00.001-06:00

As a mom who tries hard to use every opportunity to teach my children useful life lessons, I sometimes forget that Brady is only 4 and maybe some lessons can wait. But I don't like to create different truths just because I might not be ready. Like sex talks, we have avoided that one. Even when Todd tries to get Brady to go to his room for nap time at 9 am on a Saturday and Brady says "Todd, you just want to hang out with Mommy because you think she's hot.". What I feel like I need to do as a responsible parent is explain Mommy and Daddy time, but instead we tell him we need to discuss what we are going to buy him for bday, Christmas, Tuesday, whatever. Just not ready for that talk, or admitting to my child his daddy is hot for mommy. Especially since we finally got him to stop saying "let's make it sexy time" and turning out the lights. I know, we are really good parents.

Well yesterday I probably should have avoided a certain talk too. Brady was talking about some toy that was dead and said we need some double d's. All Todd heard was double d's. He asked Brady what he knew about double d's with a big grin on his face. (I married a 15 year old boy, really). He was one step away from motor-boating the air when I decided to explain what his daddy was talking about while in the car on our way to BWW. I explained that DD in addition to a battery size is also a size for boobies.
At this point a little voice was saying in my head, maybe this isn't a good topic for a four year old boy. I chose to ignore this voice. I explained some girls have small boobies, like Mommy, that are size A and others have big boobies like Aunt Sandi and are Ds. Todd is just shaking his head right now. Brady then asked what size Grandma Susan is and I said B. I explained a B/c is average.

I'm not one to provide only a portion of a lesson, so I delved into puberty explaining that you only get boobies when your like, 12. I explained only girls have boob sizes even if boys have boobs. I know, I'm thorough. It's a sign of a good teacher.

I then explained what being "flat" means. I finished my lesson by telling Brady not to discuss what he just learned with anyone.

Kinda would like to have a re-do with this one.

Blue Skies and Rainbows and the end of the Yellow Haired Girl

2011-02-04T15:42:00.010-06:00

I love children's innocence and it breaks my heart when they lose a piece here and there. This month in school they are learning about different African Americans who have helped shape our nation. I'm all for history and culture and I hope my sons will share some of these heroic people's attributes. But before this month my son classified people according to physical traits such as hair color. As in, "that yellow girl is in my class". Occassionally he would describe someone as having brown skin but he didn't see it as any different than a girl with yellow hair. It's just a physical difference. And I love that about him and make sure to not classify people according to race around him. Not that you shouldn't be proud of your race, but I don't want him pigeon-holing everyone based on something as generic as race.

Well, in school this week he learned about Harriet Tubman and Rosa Parks. When talking about Rosa Parks, he said that she didn't want to get up from her seat, so they took her to jail. And it wasn't right that they tried to make her move. I asked why they didn't want her sitting there and he said because she was a Black and they were Whites. Now, I know that is the way it was back then. You were only classified by your race. But it just irks me that my son knows that now. I wanted him to continue thinking of people as "people" and not by race. Hopefully he still will. I will try my darndest to keep him thinking that way. The Civil Rights Movement was very important and I'm glad that the kids are studying it so that they can see how important it is to fight for what is right and against injustice. But I want my baby to still think the world is full of blue skies and rainbows and yellow girls.

I know he didn't lose too much of his innocence because after our converstaion he told me that I am more black than him because my skin is darker. But Ms. Cheryl is blacker than me, because her hair is blacker.

Brady's Teachers: Ms. Julie and Ms. Cheryl

Potty in the USA

2011-01-31T08:06:00.000-06:00

Being a girl, and especially a Harrison girl, going to the bathroom isn't exactly a regular thing. In fact, we get really excited when we are successful and call each other to share the great news. Probably not something you want to know about, but it is a really big topic for me.

And if evacuating my bowels isn't a big enough ordeal as it is, my children like to partake in the process too. It's a regular party. I couldn't tell you the last time i pottied alone. Unless you count my locking the door, but then i have Brady yelling and Harper head butting the door. I've simultaneously breastfed and played board games while sitting on the toilet. I've had one kid in my lap and one kid throwing bath toys at me. I have sang songs and I've refereed wrestling matches. On a good day i read a few books about curious monkeys or farm animals. All of this while attempting to poop. And add Brady asking when I'm going to be done and Harper crying and head butting the tiles. I'm lucky if i poop at all.

No wonder women are more likely to suffer from hemorrhoids and IBS.

Story sculpting Brady style

2011-01-29T11:05:00.000-06:00

In brady's encore class he is working on story sculpting. I have been trying to fit this lesson into our everyday playing. So when he wanted to play superheroes yesterday, i made him create new main characters and secondary characters. Here is his story word for word:

The new villian's name is Tenis. (sounds like penis). Tenis throws up, pees, poops and shoots poop out of his eyes. He became Tenis because he ate some pasta with pee in it and it brainwashed his brain.

I am Jaxman. I have 159 super powers. Momma is Fireflash. She shoots lines out of her hands, which burns, super strength, she can fly and shoot arrows from her shoulders and milk from her boobies and books from her boots.

Harper is Babyguy. He can shoot music notes out of his hands, turning people to ice, then they melt down.

We have to fight for honor!

I love his imagination and am sure his encore teacher would be proud. Now I must go and squirt some milk at the bady guys.

Happy days are here again

2011-01-24T10:33:00.021-06:00

After my last couple of posts, I'm sure everyone is contemplating my mental status, trying to determine if Todd is in actual danger. Fear not my curious readers, Todd has been given a reprieve. I no longer wish him harm, and his next trip to Vegas is a couple weeks away, so he is safe for now.

This week has started out on a much brighter note. In fact, for a Monday, it's been pretty great. I'm still sick but I am happily not preggers, so Yay! I've spent a small fortune on pee sticks, but have been rewarded with cramps and moodiness. Again, Yay! Todd is happy too, and not just because I'm not pregnant. He was excited about his spicy chicken lasagna leftovers for lunch and took that positivity into work with him. He just left a productive meeting with no clients screaming, a rarity and joyful occurance.

The house is pretty clean even though Brady had some friends over yesterday. Monday is normally cleaning day and i haven't had to do much; so i ate cake and watched tv during nap time. I even thought about working out.

Yup, it's gonna be a good week. Two Moms Night Out and a playgroup here on Friday. No fevers, no bugs, no angry housewives. It's a new week and a new me.

I promise I'm not bipolar.

Arsenic is the obvious choice

2011-01-19T11:27:00.002-06:00

I've had a really bad week. Todd was out of town for four days and nights. He came home with the flu. I nursed him back to health so he could then abandon his family, whom he got sick, and go back to work.

In between blowing my nose, wiping snot off the couch and checking temperatures, I have been plotting Todd's demise.

Instead of poisioning him, I plan on killing him with kindness. I dare you to do the same with your husband. :)

Check out this link for your 25 day challenge

Http://womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/2011/01/25-day-praise-plan-marriage-challenge.htm

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Never blog while mad

2011-01-15T12:15:00.000-06:00

I am so tired and so cranky. I have planned to blog all week but I didn't want to come across psycho and evil. It's been a long week. Todd left Tuesday morning and just got back early this morning. Usually when he is out of town I venture out to Clarksville and visit my mom, but i didn't want Brady to miss school. Even with the snow storm (eye roll) I hated for him to miss it. Who am i kidding, i wanted the break of him going to school. The kids haven't been bad at all. In fact Harper has slept like a champ and Brady has been pretty good. I'm just in need of a break. Todd never called while he was gone. Never really checked on us. That just pissed me off and the fact that we were snowed in and no adult interaction. I'm just tired and cranky. There is so much more i want to put but i know here is not the place to vent my frustrations. So forgive my lack of witty repertoire and hopefully i will be back to normal next week.

i wants what i wants

2011-01-06T14:11:00.001-06:00

Weaning isn't going so well. Harper likes formula and even whole milk just fine. But try to take away the boob and he will literally smack you in the face. I'm not sure what to do. Brady could have cared less. He was too busy running around. Harper likes the mommy milk. I just got him up from his nap and cuddled him with a sippy of milk. He was happy and drinking. Then he stopped, threw it and dove head first into my boobs while simultaneously getting into position. When I offered the cup he shook his head no and slapped me in the face.

And there ya have it.

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Harper's Party

2011-01-02T17:42:00.001-06:00

After what seems like a month of planning (see previous post) and cleaning, Harper's party was finally here. I was so excited. The morning was a little hectic, but it all worked out. We had great friends and family over and had yummy food (see previous post). All the 20 kids had fun with minimal crying. Here are a few pics. If you want to see more, you can check out my shutterfly sharesite where I post entire photo albums for people to check out. I also uploaded a video of Harper with his Owl Smash cake. It just takes too long to upload them here too, so check it out.

Nothing is more important than my baby's first birthday party

2011-01-02T17:33:00.003-06:00

Before I post pictures of the party and talk about the planning portion, I feel I need to justify why I did all of this for a one-year old who won't remember anything. You only turn 1 once, right? So why not have a big blow out. When he gets older he isn't going to want to have a family party at home. He will want to go bowling or just hang with some friends. So while I can, I want to dote on my baby in the only way I know how... by going completely overboard. I just want him to know that I think he is special and deserves the best I can give him.

I have been planning the party for the past few months. I had ironed out the theme, Look Whoooo's Turning One, with an emphasis on Owls. Yes, I was a Chi Omega. Yes I like Owls. But they are considered "in" right now and I don't have a girl to force my Chi Omega-ness on, so Harper got it... in spades. Here are a few pics of the details.

Owl Shirt by Courtney Eoff

Dessert Table
Owl Cake Pops by Tammi :)
Banner by Jennifer Campbell Dueker
Cupcakes by GiGi's Cupcakes

Banner by Jennifer Campbell Dueker

Biscuit Bar
Biscuits from Cracker Barrel with Apple Butter, Grape Jelly and Country Ham
Rolls with Chicken Salad
Pigs in a Blanket
Vegtable Tray
Pinwheel Wraps from Freshii

Water Bottles with Labels from Totful Memories

Owl Cake Pops. Recipe from Bakerella

Owl Pattern from SewSimple

Pattern from Toad's Treasures

Party Favors:
Mini-Owl Pillows and Rock Candy

Labels by Totful Memories

Owl Smash Cake made from Wilton Mini Stand Up Bear Pan
(it was falling forward :/ )

Happy Birthday Harper!

2011-01-02T16:46:00.000-06:00

My little man is one. It really did fly by. I'm so proud of him and blessed to be his mommy. My next post(s) will be about his insane birthday party preparations and the big event, but this post is dedicated to his actual birth day celebration.

We took Harper to Cheesecake Factory for lunch for his big day. We were joined by our normal birthday crew consisting of Grandma Susan, Papa, Oliver and Val. It was a very long lunch and kinda cramped, but Harper thoroughly enjoyed his food and the little crunchy air noodles that Oliver gave him. He tore up some bananas and devoured his sundae. He reminded me of Todd and Brady when he got slightly embarrassed when we sang Happy Birthday to him. Love that boy so much. I litterally could scream I love him so much. Just thinking about him makes me smile. How can it not? He is so happy and good. (nighttime doesn't count)

Happy Birthday baby boy! I Love You a Buschel and a Peck and a Hug Around the Neck and then some.

12.31.2009

Christmas in the Country

2011-01-02T16:30:00.001-06:00

I love that I married a Jewish guy. I don't have to share Christmas. Everyone else is running around crazy trying to fit in multiple "Christmases" with family and all I have to do is load me and the boys (and puppies) up and head to Cunningham for 3 days. It's heavenly. And this year it snowed. But just becuase it was 25 degrees outside didn't stop Brady from wanting to play outside the majority of the time, which was fine by me. A little frozen snot never hurt anyone. And it makes for a more relaxed Mommy.

The day before we left for Cunningham, Harper started taking more than the two accidental steps. I would make him stand and scoot away and call him like a dog. He would get this huge grin on his face with his arms out to the sides and take three or four tiny, really fast steps until he tumbled into me. He was so proud and so was I. Once we got to my mom's, he got braver and braver. By Christmas morning he was able to walk across the room. Granted it took about 20 minutes and his long little toes were curled under digging into the floor like his life depended on it, but he did it! And he hasn't stopped since. Oh, and he got his fourth top tooth in five weeks. So the boy went from having just two teeth for six months, then he got four in a month. Crazy.

Christmas Eve Eve we went to Cindy and Brian's to have dinner and celebrate with Matti, who we wouldn't have for Christmas. They got the cutest little shit-zhu puppy named Thor, or Toby, or Ewok, or Obi-Won. Not sure, but he sure is cute. He has one eye that doesn't quite follow the other which just makes him cuter. I don't think his little feet touched the ground for 3 days between me and Kayla holding him. Cuteness!!

On Christmas Eve, Brady informed us that he has wanted a Buzz Lightyear with working laser his whole life and if Santa doesn't bring him one he will be frickin' upset. I'm sure Santa was moved by my child's Christmas spirit.

Christmas morning went great. Brady sleeps in my mom's room on a blowup mattress and Harper sleeps in the pack n play in the guest room with me. Mom calls me around 7:30 and tells me Brady is stirring so get ready (get cameras, walk dogs, wake Todd, pee). I had to wake up Harper. He was basically sleep drunk for the first hour of Christmas. Ten minutes later I hear Brady banging on the bedroom door like a bull in a rodeo shoot waiting to charge. Mom is yelling, I can't hold him anymore!! So we let him out. He walks out and points and I must say looks like he wants to say "Eh, I was hoping for more". Santa doesn't wrap gifts so Santa gifts are displayed in front of the gifts. He did like his Toy Story clock which was "the only thing I wanted, except for the Buzz Lightyear with working laser which I apparently didn't get". He did get the stupid Buzz, but it was from Todd and I and he seemed happy. Harper eventually joined us in the living room after I think he sat staring at the wall for a good 15 minutes. He enjoyed Bradys toys and didn't once look at anything he got. Overall, I'd say it was a success.

Then cousins and more presents and yummy food.

I love the holidays. I love the memories. Christmas at Nina's was my favorite time of year. The smells, the music, the cousins. Soooo many great times. I hope my kids are creating similar memories with my Mom. We are all blessed. Especially Brady who got his Buzz Lightyear with working laser.

For more pictures check out my Shutterfly sharesite.

A Schneiderman Tradition

2011-01-02T15:18:00.000-06:00

There are few things that are consistent in my life. I'll let you contemplate the certainties in your life. For me it is my momma and daddy's love, my love for my family, disappointment in My Teams (Braves, Titans, and/or Vols) and Todd getting beyond hammered twice a year. Those two events unfortunately fall within 30 days of each other. His birthday and his company Holiday party. So for all of you who were at this years party and maybe thought I was a spoil-sport for leaving right when the beer pong tournament began, I know you saw the reasoning about 2 hours later. My apologies to the Tin Roof and the Red Rooster. And a big thanks to whomever deposited my husband on my front porch at 10:45 pm. But I don't fuss too much b/c in his defense he does tell me ahead of time what will happen. In fact he talks about what will happen waaaaay longer than he actually lasts at his own party. It's like his birthday. By the time it actually gets here you are so tired of hearing about it.

So here's to 11 more months until the sweater makes a comeback.

A New Year Snippet

2011-01-02T14:50:00.001-06:00

OK, before I start telling about the wonderful holiday season, I just have to let you know that Brady just caught Todd humping the chair (bc that is what he does) and now Brady is humping Harper's new recliner. I told Todd maybe his new resolution should be to think before he speaks and acts around his children. No Furniture Humping in 2011! Should be easy enough to keep. Oh who am I kidding. They'll both be humping chairs by next week.

More in a bit.

harper got his hair did

2010-12-17T12:05:00.001-06:00

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Tis the season

2010-12-06T20:30:00.001-06:00

This time of year all the kids are either on their best behavior patiently awaiting Santa to bring them a nice gift or two or whining trolls who want to open presents NOW and who want candy NOW and who want to nap NEVER. Guess which one describes Brady.

He sucks right now. For 2.5 days, Charlie, our Elf on the Shelf, actually did her job and scared him into behaving- at least IN the house. Well, now he just likes to see where she is hiding and really hasn't altered his behavior at all, no matter how many times I have threatened the wrath of Santa or his scary fang wielding elves. Bah Humbug. Right now I want to give all his toys away to a nice, sweet child who can't speak and therefore can't talk back to his mother or annoy her until she has peeled the skin from her hands.

And don't get me started on Hanukkah. Whomever thought it was a great idea to open JUST ONE present a day for eight days is just stupid, or doesn't have children. No wonder most Jewish kids want to do Christmas instead. You get like 20 presents in one day instead of Day One you get socks, Day Two you get a small toy, Day Three you get a book from the dollar bins at Target, etc.

I will say I love listening to Brady attempt the Hanukkah prayer though. Grandma Mim taught him to put just the right amount of phlegm into his words. And he throws in a Steve McNair somewhere in the middle (if you actually know the prayer you know what part I am referring to).

Harper on the other hand is just a delight to watch. He is so grateful for his new toys and claps and dances and smiles. And he naps great. He is totally my favorite right now. His only downfall is the wispy mullet he is rocking and the fact that he doesn't sleep at night b/c he is cutting 12 teeth all at once and he thinks its hilarious to bite my nipples. Ok, maybe he isn't my favorite. No, no he is. He is really cute and doesn't throw down in Hancock Fabric b/c he can't have Sour Patch Kids RIGHT NOW!

fa la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaa

Jingle Be....num num num

2010-11-21T10:14:00.001-06:00

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Shake Shake Shake Shake Shake it

2010-11-15T22:09:00.000-06:00

Here is a video of my beautiful and talented niece dancing at halftime at the Montgomery Central Middle basketball game. She is on the left, with brown curly hair. She is so good!! mwah! Love you Kayla!

Oh the memories this brought back. Just walking into the gym brought me back 13 years. Oh the fun Kayla will have! Part of me is jealous, because middle school and high school was FUN. But then the other part of me remembers the hormones and emotional roller coasters and insecurities and the DRAMA that comes with being a teenage girl. I wouldn't want to do that again. So I will happily relive my younger days through my niece and pray she makes smart decisions, is a good friend, and has FUN! These definitely aren't the best days of your life, but they can be pretty awesome.

Superman

2010-11-12T09:26:00.001-06:00

Last weekend I went on a much needed girls trip to Gatlinburg. We decided to leave basically when the sun came up and that left Todd with the kids all day Friday, Saturday and most of Sunday. We had a great time just relaxing. Food. Wine. Movies. Shopping. Hot Tub (cut short by a spider). Perfect!

Besides Todd telling everyone he is babysitting his own children, he did a great job. (you don't babysit your own children, you just parent them) I know it was stressful, I could hear it in his voice. Both Moms kept calling him and he swore he was ok and didn't need help. It may not have been true, but he was determined to make it work for his own self-esteem and to prove his Superman Status to everyone else. Here is an email I recieved from Todd. It made me smile.

Today was a wonderful day at the Schneiderman School of Child watching.

We started the a.m. Around 6:30, to then work together and make bacon, eggs, and biscuits. We then played lots of Hockey and Soccer, lots.

Followed by a 15 minute nap for Harper.

We then all got ready and made our way out of the house. First to Target to pick up a present and then to a bowling party.

Both children had a blast, especially Brady as Harper really did not move as I could not let a child around 5 year olds dropping 7lb balls.

We stayed at the party until the family had to tell us the party was over. Home for a two hour nap, YEAH!

After the nap, we got right into eating bottles, crying, yelling, throwing up and sports. Lots of Hockey and Soccer.

To finish up the night, we all got into the truck and went to jim and nicks to pick up a little togo food. Lots of Mashed Potatoes and Gravy.

We all sat at the dinner table for 10 minutes, :) before Brady left to sit on the couch.

Hopefully no more sports and on to bed soon.

Love love love this man. And he didn't leave me alone with the kids until I had been home for an hour. I am impressed he wasn't waiting in the car when I pulled up.

work it. own it.

2010-11-11T22:24:00.002-06:00

my baby flaunting his dimpled rump and rolling thighs. he ain't scared.